Post Maternity Class


Hey, Ya’ll! Let me introduce you to someone in my class. Some know her as Anxiety Annie, some fondly refer to her as Prozac Peggy, I like to call her Scary Mary.

Scary Mary is afraid of EVERYTHING!!! And she can tell you every horror birth story she’s ever heard. People, I would not lie to you about this. The girl nearly has a panic attack when we talk about birth and babies in general. Right before she speaks, everyone kind of looks around the room like “here we go with this girl -who has documented any unpleasant pregnancy there ever was on the face of the earth.”

Teacher: ” Any concerns with birth so far based on the video?”

Prozac Peggy: ” Oh yes, me, I DO!!!! When my momma had me, she was ripped plum to her B – hole!!!! She had the infection where poop seeps through the vaginal wall and comes out her hoo haa. It was terrible!!!! What a dumb doctor she had.”

REALLY PEGGY? PLEASE STOP. In fact, please withdraw yourself from this particular course. You are making all of us look like a deer staring right into the car that will inevitably hit it.

Maybe she will go into labor early and we won’t all have to be horrified every class by her anymore!

John and I are the couple who giggle when the Anus is shown in a diagram. haha come’on… you know it’s funny!!

I hate this class. There. I said it.

It just scares me more than normal and I want to run out of it every time!!!

One good bit of news came from this class. They announced that the fancy new birthing suite opens dec 3. THAT IS MY DUE DATE!!!!!!! SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!! Maybe this will change my mind on wanting her early! 🙂

Today started out bad. But it is ending well with this bit of knowledge and now I’m home with my honey.

Here’s to a better day at work tomorrow! Today was a little too sub par.

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