Part I: Beliefs
1. It is better to give a little ground and protect the peace than to stand firm and provoke a fight.
I feel like this is situational. Does this mean that hey bunny, you can stay up until 8:15 tonight instead of your regular 8 if you help mommy with her chores? I can see that as being reasonable! As opposed to just “no, bunny you can never stay up past 8”
2. Children need discipline that hurts a little so that they will remember the lesson later.
I don’t like the way this is worded. It sounds like “hey do you think you should beat your kid so it knows better next time?”…. I’m not very sure what kind of discipline John and I want to chose for our baby. I mean how can we know right now? We don’t even know her yet! What if she is a super emotional kid who learns her lessons from having her toys taken away for the day after doing something bad? Or what if she’s perfect and never does anything wrong?! 🙂 One can only hope.
3. Children shouldn’t always get their way, but usually we ought to learn to listen to what they have to say.
I do think we should listen to what our kids have to say. I do feel like as a kid I was cut off mid sentence a lot. Maybe that’s why I interrupt people by mistake these days. I get really excited to say what I need to say and just blurt it out! Poor communication is a flaw most of us have – so of course John and I should try to practice better communication while teaching Harper to let us know what she feels.
4. The parent-child relationship is like a war in which if the parent wins, both sides win; but if the parent loses, both sides lose.
It shouldn’t be a war….but maybe sometimes it can feel like that? I’ve never done this before! I hope that what we want for our baby is right for her and is considered a win for both parties! 🙂
5. If parents provide a good environment, children will pretty much raise themselves.
NEGATIVE, GHOST RIDER!! Children who “raise themselves” are neglected! That is exactly why god made us parents…to protect, guide, and love our babies. If we are just providing a great place to live, a nice education, and all the food in the world to eat…and nothing else…we are just a bank account. Not parents. Children aren’t supposed to raise themselves. This statement makes me get all huffy! Cats raise themselves not kids! lol
6. The parent’s role is like that of a teacher who is preparing the child for a final exam called life.
This is pretty good. Agree.
7. Childhood is so short that parents should do everything to make it a happy time.
STRONGLY AGREE!! AGREE!! AGREE!!! AGREE!!!! I can remember so much from my childhood. Sometimes I recall memories and they aren’t so great – I wonder why I even kept them as memories. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great childhood, but every life has it’s hiccups. I want to do everything I can to create fun memories for all of us. I want to go on picnics, make traditions, and make super awesome memories by mistake! 🙂 I’m so excited for this upcoming part of our lives.
8. “Spare the rod and spoil the child” is still the best policy.
The notion that children will only flourish if chastised, physically or otherwise, for any wrongdoing.
Again this phrase sounds rather abusive. I would like to stay away from spanking our child when she is misbehaving. BUT we just don’t know what it’s going to be like. We need to meet her and get to know her. I’m not sure how people decide on spanking a child before they even meet him/her. It doesn’t make much sense to me. Maybe just have the option open to discuss later if need be.
9. Children need to learn what they may or may not do, but we don’t have to use punishment to teach.
CORRECT! There are so many teaching opportunities in each day. Why not use them to encourage good behavior and to let baby bear know what is unacceptable!?
10. Whether we like it or not, children have the last word about what they will or won’t do.
Kids will be kids. I trust that we will have the knowledge to know what is right in each situation.
11. If you let children have pretty free rein, they will eventually learn from the consequences of their behavior what is appropriate.
I think this is why I see so many kids running over their parents! It’s like their parents have just given up and think they’ll have an easier life if they just let little Laura go color on the walls…after all she will be quiet while she does it… NO WAY!!!! We will NOT have THAT child. Our baby will not be the “bad kid” that we all see out in public or at events. She will NOT be the kid who messes up a stranger’s house at a party. She will NOT be the kid who thinks it’s okay to hit others. She will NOT be the kid who doesn’t say thank you, please, and you’re welcome! I feel like everyday now I see children and think “oh lord…please don’t let my child be like this!” BUT I’ve also been seeing kids and thought to myself “I hope Harper says these sweet things to me!!!”
12. Children first have to learn that the parent is boss.
No…that is an intimidating title. Kids shouldn’t be intimidated by their mom and dad! They should be able to share thoughts, ideas, but also know that the final say is what Mommy and Daddy say.
13. Too many children today talk back to their parents when they should just quietly obey them.
14. If we want children to respect us, we must first treat them with respect.
15. You can never do too much for your child if it comes from genuine love.
AGREE. As a parent you should do anything and everything to protect your child.