Another week…another 100 diapers


How has another week flown by without me posting a single darn thing?!?

I do have free time to dilly dally but for some reason, writing isn’t my top priority these days. I’d much rather shut my eyes or lay down! When I’m not dilly dally-ing you can probably find me:

  • staring at a crying baby with a puzzled look on my face.
  • feeding said baby.
  • burping the same princess mentioned above.
  • sniffing the air wondering what that smell is.
  • changing a poopy diaper.
  • yelling “oh no!!!” as I get peed on while putting on a fresh new diaper.
  • Changing the new diaper to an EVEN NEWER diaper since the flood gates decided to open.
  • re dressing the baby after the double diaper change.
  • yelling “oh no!!!!” (and asking for help if John is home) as I am showered in what can only be described as exorcist style vomit.
  • stripping myself as quickly as possible to get the wet old milky clothes off of me and into dry attire.
  • stripping Harper of her clothes for fresh ones.
  • looking at her wide eyed after hearing what could only have been a NATO bomb detonating in her pants.
  • laying her in her crib for some shut eye after much drama.
  • Pumping milk for 15 minutes.
  • Cleaning my pumping supplies.

Even though sometimes it can get stressful doing several of these things all at once, I think that being home with Harper has been better than both John and I expected it to be.

He has returned to work and we have a pretty good system worked out for getting up to take care of her. He will stay up until 11-12 with her so I can go to bed early or nap as I please to prepare for the night ahead of me. From midnight until 5am I will respond to all of her cries and try not to wake John up in the process. After 5 he will take care of her cries until he has to leave for work- hopefully giving me a few extra hours to sleep in order to make up for getting up in the wee hours. It was difficult at first but it is much easier now that I know when I need to nap. If I feel tired I just need to give in and go to sleep because I am not tired every single time she naps. And many times I can’t just go to sleep because she is ready for bed.

I like the idea of getting every other weekend off from the early morning shift. It’s nice to be able to get a longer stretch of sleep after 5 days of waking up every 2-3 hours during sleep!

This week, Nanny got to meet Harper after much anticipation! I could tell she was really excited and just super happy to finally meet her! John and I are both very lucky that we have grandparents to meet her! It makes me so happy to know that she gets to experience the same Nanny that I did my whole life and also that I was able to give Nanny her first great grand daughter!

Speaking of family – I must also mention how lucky we are to have the great families that we do! It’s really clear that they would do anything for us and Harper. They are incredible and such a huge help!

Big things happening:

  • Not my stomach anymore. THANK JESUS!
  • Harper will have her second DR appointment Wednesday. I’m excited to see how much she has grown because at the last visit she was doing really well with weight gain! The doctor said it is because she is an exclusively breast milk baby! It’s rather empowering to know that I alone supply my baby’s nutrition and that she is flourishing because of it!
  • Christmas is approaching FAST!!! That means lots of dinners and lots of plans!

Goals this week:

  • To clean this house in preparation for Christmas guests.
  • To go see christmas lights around town.
  • To post on the blog at least 3 times!
  • To finish wrapping presents.

Until next time ya’ll….

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Newborn heaven


Needless to say I’ve been slacking with the blog. But I think I deserve a break! I’m trying to get the hang of this “being a mommy” thing!

After 5 days in the hospital, we finally got to go home! It was so odd not being in the hospitals care anymore! Now John had to be my nurse!

The first couple nights were rough for me…just because I was in pain from the c section and couldn’t get up out of bed very easily or quick like! Also, I was on medication-making me more tired than your average bear. This bear also had a baby to take care of!

I think the worst part was hearing Harper cry in the middle of the night and feeling like I couldn’t get to her fast enough…I felt guilty for letting her cry while I shimmied my way out of bed and hobbled like a mummy down the hall, occasionally stopping so as not to fall on my face.
I’m starting to realize that it’s okay If she is upset for 2 minutes while I make my way safely to her room! She will be the same kinda mad in 2 minutes as she would be in 20 seconds. Not a big deal. In reality I’m not going to be able to run to her crib in 30 seconds flat if I’m using the restroom or if I’m cleaning and need to wash my hands before touching her.

Everyday gets easier and is filled with less tiredness as we get together a better routine and develop better tricks and techniques.
For example, I have figured out that at 3am when she is eating, I can avoid a fit if I prop her bottle up so she can still eat while I simultaneously change her diaper! That’s my favorite trick because nobody wants to hear a holy meltdown at 3am. Plus it’s less recovery time to get her back to sleep if I don’t have to calm her down from diaper panic mode.
She sleeps well for a newborn I believe. She sleeps in 2 hour stints and wakes up to eat, poop, and burp. I can get this done in 15-25 minutes depending on if there is a baby breakdown or not. Then I go back to my room and pump for 15-20 minutes..:then clean the pumping equipment and set it back up for the next use. Ideally I would like to go back to sleep sooner because while she sleeps 2 hours at a time, I end up sleeping 1-1.5 hours instead of the 2.

Some of my favorite things:

The baby smell. I waited forever to smell this! I heard so much about it and now I can sniff my very own baby!
lets face it…sniffing random babies is socially awkward.

I REALLY love the face she makes when we burp her! It’s the cutest thing ever.

I like for her to sleep on my chest. I think because it’s the closest we can get and I can tell she’s most content there.

What do I miss?

I miss sleeping longs than 2 hours-BUT I do not miss the quality of sleep I got when I was pregnant. At least now, I can get real bonafide sleep! It’s glorious! And every night I get closer to sleeping on my stomach again!

I can tell you I don’t miss being pregnant. That was way hard!!! The only thing I liked was people being a little extra kind to me out in the general public! Now I’m just a normal human again haha! I can see and reach my toes again, I can walk easier without a basketball attached to me, I can fit into some normal clothes…all good!

What is it physically like after delivery?

I am so surprised at how quickly the swelling has gone down! I was really worried that I would have 30 lbs of baby weight to drop! I did peek at a scale earlier and found out I only needed to drop 12 extra lbs. this is doable!

My c section scar is so low I could wear a bikini with no worries. It’s also sealed w invisible stitches that dissolve…not like the c sections they used to do with staples.

Do I wanna share pictures of my sweet baby?

DUH!!!!!

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Birth story part 2


Picking up where I left off- at 2:30 I was prepped for an emergency c section. It was lightening fast for me. I was briskly wheeled to an operating room while John went to tell my family the situation. He wasnt allowed back in until I was completely prepped for surgery.

On my end I was in the operating room trying to either focus on the bright light above me or breathing. I was transferred onto the operating table…which was super scary because if thy had dropped me I couldn’t feel my legs! After working at a hospital for a good while I knew that I was in good hands. I knew these people did this everyday and wouldn’t let me fall in the floor. That really helped to think about the experience they had. There was SO much going on in the room. I think there were 6-8 people involved in my care.
I was visibly scared and shaking (the anesthesiologist asked me if I was cold…no sir…I’m freaking out!!! -so he must’ve given me something for my nerves. I just assume this because he asked a minute later if I felt any better-and I only slightly did, but was more drowsy than before. Which was fine. It allowed me to just shut my eyes and try to concentrate on not being cut open!

2:52- I hear Johns voice and open my eyes to see him walk past the curtain and sit down at my head and he comforted me-although he looked a little majorly
freaked out. Apparently I was already open on the table when he walked in-I was unaware! And nobody warned him!

2:53- I am told I will feel pressure-which I didn’t! I could feel that my body was being moved a lot because it shook my head, but none of that pressure I’d been told so much about.

2:54- We hear Harper cry for the first time!!!!! It was so fast!!!! I looks at John and he tells me she is here!! They lift her above the curtain so I could see that she was okay…she was perfect, I wasn’t worried that a single thing was wrong! Things are blurry after that. I remember John getting up and taking pictures on my phone. I was able to watch him on a flat screen by my face that was pointed at Harper.

Shortly after she was brought over to my face so I could kiss her and officially say hi. She was so pretty.

After that big production she was sent along with her daddy to my hospital room while I was being sewn up.
John says this took forever, and he was really scared for me because he had seen me cut open and how shaken I was-but I had no concept of time. I just shut my eyes and thought about what she was like and thought about how she would act and how it would feel to be with her. I knew she was safe with daddy so I never worried about that.
I think around 45 minutes later I was taken to my room where John and Harper were waiting on me! She was crying and I just cried all over again and watched her get cleaned up and examined. They brought her over to me so I could have her on my bare chest. I can’t explain how it felt to hold her and finally be with her or how I felt about John and seeing how much he loved her. It’s just something one has to experience to know what it feels like!

She must’ve been hungry because she almost immediately nursed. I don’t think either of us knew what we were doing but I felt better thinking she had eaten a little.

We were finally taken to our new room and allowed to tell our family to come meet Harper! Everyone came up and held her and took endless pictures! I was really excited for everyone to finally meet her…I was so glad they could now touch her with their own hands!

After the smoke had cleared and the camera flashes died down, everyone went home and we got to spend our first night together as a new family. 🙂 John and I both decided that she was perfect!

Birth story part 1


I guess I should leave off where my story last ended…even though that was 3.5 days ago and one baby later.

The morning after I last blogged was a little crazy. LUCKILY…John took notes for me while I was just plain incapable of doing so!

Here we go.

Tuesday am around 6:45 my nurse came in to remove my foley bulb and see if I was dilated and how much. She let me know that the doctor would be in shortly to break my water and start pitocin.
As soon as the nurse walked out I turned green. All of these procedures I was about to go through we’re terrifying to think about! I’ve never gotten sick from being nervous-until Tuesday! Yuck.
An hour later my doctor walks in. She breaks my water (which didn’t hurt). She let me know I was 3 cm dialated.

Not more than an hour later (around 8:50) I started to feel contractions. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before… So intense and Painful… John said I was being strong, but I was so scared. If this was going to feel worse, I wasn’t sure I could handle it.

About 15 minutes later- The doctor checked me and realized I had passed my mucus plug and was still dilated at 3 cm. my contractions were 2 minutes apart and I was being monitored by nurses every second. This was good, but the baby hadn’t dropped into my pelvis yet. She was super high up in my tummy.

An hour later I am STILL 3 cm dialated. The doctor placed an internal pressure catheter to monitor my contractions closer. I thought this would be no big deal-but it HURT!!!!! I don’t know the logistics of why…maybe it was because I was already in terrible pain. It’s a kind of pain that you can’t even speak through. The kind of agony that is hard to even breathe through. I kept holding my breath because even breathing movements made it seem worse. I see women on tv screaming at their partners during this-there’s NO WAY I could scream… I kept thinking how could this feeling get worse??? I am only at 3 cm and I was sure I was going to die! I started to cry at every contraction. I was sweating uncontrollably and shaking in between them. The doctor could see how much pain I was in and we started to talk epidural. She said that was fine as long as I received an ultrasound to make sure that harpers head was directed downward. It was. Thank god!!!! They told me it would be a couple of minutes and the doctor would place my epidural. I BEGGED for more pain medicine to get me through those few minutes! It really felt like life of death-like if I had to wait 2 minutes I would just not make it.
I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the name of that glorious man who made the rest of labor pain free. The epidural was placed in about 2 minutes and didn’t hurt! People freak out over that procedure…but it was smooth sailing!
Within a minute I was feeling relieved. By the time I laid back in the bed I couldn’t feel my legs. It was awesome.

In johns notes- at 10:15 -“Mommy peed her pants”

11:52 – the doctor checked me again- NO change. Still 3 cm 😦 its so discouraging to hear your body isnt doing what it was made to do.

12:30 – my parents arrive!

1:26- I’m at 4 cm. finally some change!!! But Harper still hadn’t dropped into my pelvis. No bueno. To coax her down the doctor was going to add a TON of fluid to my tummy. This was gross. It was probably 10 lbs of fluid…and y’all, what goes in must come out. EEWWWW!!! But it didn’t hurt. So whatever! Let’s do it!

2:15- I finally reach 7 cm, 100% effaced, and Harper is dropping down low! I can feel that!!!!! Thank good was things are going our way. I alert everyone of the positive change!

2:30- after observing that Harper was responding negatively to my contractions with a dropping heart rate, my doctor informed us that we were immediately being sent to have a c section. She informed us that things were going to move very fast from here on out. My heart sank. For one thing, I had labored for 7 hours and was finally progressing…for another-it’s a surgery. That I will stay conscious through. I was terrified all over again. I fell apart. And had no time to put myself back Together before I was whisked off to the surgery room. I have never shaken so violently in my life. I looked like I had been stuck in the snow for 5 hours! I just could not control it-it was crazy!!! I’m pretty sure seeing me that scared freaked John out. Not to mention they didn’t let him walk with us to the operating room-he had to wait until they came to get him.

I’ll have to continue the story tomorrow when John can help me with all the details of the rest! Clearly it resulted in the cutest most advanced baby in the world.

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