Meandering


I’ve found myself very anxious over my next trip to the fertility clinic.  They are going to do an ultrasound on my ovaries to make sure that everything is healthy down under.

I’m not sure why I’m so incredibly anxious…maybe it’s the trip.  I know it’s a trip there, then right back home and it’s quiet a few hours to be alone in a car.  But then again, I’ve always been a nervous person.  Always.  Those selfish thoughts of being told that my body won’t produce the eggs of a normal women…that maybe I am damaged inside…that those 2 weeks of injections are going to effect my mood…

Just worries.  Today I’ve stewed in it and picked my lips until they bled, in addition to chewing the quick around my nails completely off.  (It’s my version of biting my nails I guess.)

Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT having second thoughts about doing it.  I’m so hopeful that my recipient family will obtain a child with my donation, or even better, MULTIPLES!

Until a later day,

Bell

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