How to survive a dinner meeting without telling them you’re pregnant:
- Don’t eat.
- Don’t drink anything at all.
- Take gas X before your meeting.
- Pop about 9 tums.
- Wear a panty liner, in case you sneeze.
- Have a constant supply of mints or chewing gum.
- Take a zophran before.
I went to a meeting with a few fancy ladies and did not follow any of these rules. I felt like I had to hold every bodily function available to me for 2 hours straight. LUCKILY I had told the ladies I was a preggo, so when I had a little upper gastric issue, they ignored it because they’d all been there. But I still felt the need to hold all others because to get up and leave to take care of myself I would have to interrupt a very deep conversation at the meeting…so I held it….and held it….and held it….until I felt the dreaded sneeze sneaking up on me. It was time. I had to escape. I position myself to get up…and I feel the worst pain everrrrrrrrrrr!!! If you hold everything in, you’re body WILL punish you. It felt like a braxton hicks contraction. I knew that could happen if I didn’t tinkle often enough!!! This was the point where I started to worry that I couldn’t stand up without help bc it hurt so bad. What do you tell people at this point? If I tell them I’m in THAT much pain they’ll think something is wrong with my baby or myself…I don’t want to explain “listen I just held my pee too long!” I scanned the room of women engulfed in this deep discussion wondering who I would ask to help eject me from the couch, with the forewarning that I could pee on them. Finally someone else went to the potty. YES! This was my opportunity to shimmy, shake, rock, and eventually get out of that dang couch and shuffle to the bathroom! I spent almost the remainder of the meeting in that bathroom. Deep breathing. Wondering when the waterfall would end.
Next time, I’ll grab a seat next to the restroom!!!