We all have them in our lives.
Or at least stumble across one every now and again.
The one uppers.
“Oh really? Your birth story was scary? Well I just sneezed and my baby just came out during labor, breached, and already speaking full sentences.”
THANK YOU URBAN DICTIONARY FOR THIS:
September 7, 2009 Urban Word of the Day
An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.
Person: I got to meet James Hetfield before the concert and I got his autograph.
One Upper: Yeah, well my cousin knows the head of security for Metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. Then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.Person: I have a a dislocated knee.
One Upper: Yeah, well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months.
A person who always has a better story. If you killed six goats, he or she killed 23. Most of the time they will get angry because you told a story about ONLY killing 6 goats.
Person 1: Wow, this is a nice view. How much land do you own?Person 2: Umm, I think about 69 acres.Person 3(One upper): YOU own 69 acres!?!?!?! MY UNCLE OWNS 178!!
It’s hard to ignore One Uppers because you know that they’re either making that sh#t up, or they were planted in your life to make you feel like you’re just not good enough in whatever way.
Do you know a One Upper?
Have you been one? I’m sure I have been there done that. I just didn’t write it down, but I’ll bet whoever I tried to one up wrote it down, just as I’m doing now. 🙂 But whatever, they probably only wrote it once, and I’m writing it twice.
I try to take this mental approach with One Uppers:
- Tell myself (inside my head, not outside, that’s important) that there are just a few facts from this story that are missing.
- I just let them have this as their internal victory, because I don’t want to be in a one upping war. I’m not that desperate for them to think that I am better than or equal to them. If they need that for their life to be complete, they can have it.
- I also have to keep in mind that maybe he or she didn’t mean it that way. Maybe they just got excited to tell me their experience and it just happened to be much greater, bigger, and better than my own. Maybe they had no idea they were being a One Upper.
- Let it go. Although, keep note that it happened. If it happens over and over again, it’s probably going to be an issue you don’t want to deal with. If they one up you a certain amount of times, just let them pass away from your contact with ease, and find someone else who will stand with you, not above you.
I can look back on the routine one uppers in my life and see that they just NEED that extra something to make them feel better about themselves. There’s always something missing in their life. They magically forget all the bad times they’ve ever had, so that they don’t have to discuss any part of their troubles with me, so as not to appear on the same level as me possibly? I’d respect one uppers more if they would say “hey, I’ve had times like that and they sucked, but this is what helped me out, and maybe it can help you too.” or “I’ve never dealt with that specifically, but I did have issues with XYZ that you could probably relate to since they’re similar.”
I’m going to try to make more of a conscious effort to not be a one upper. I’m going to keep my eyes out for people that are consistently this way towards me and back up.
I must add, that since this post is so nonspecific, I know that half of my world I know will question whether it is them I have posted about. It’s not specifically about you. Whoever you are. I was simply watching my daily trash of Real Housewives, and watched a One Upper train wreck that I can relate to my own life. I relate it to MANY people. People I’ve known for years, family, people I’ve met for 3 minutes, and people that I don’t personally know other than this blogging community. I’ve been told more times than I can count that my blogging is so unspecific and open ended that someone will undoubtedly pick it up and read their name written across every complaint I’ve ever written about. Ever. It’s going to happen, and I’ve just accepted it. This place is my therapy. It’s my release. I have other blogs that have the specific dirty details of my life and the people in it, but I choose to stay a ghost on those blogs. They are for my unloading only. My specific unloadings.
I hope you liked this unloading.
And while you’re here, why don’t you one up all my friends and VOTE 2 days in a row for my blog! Just click the owl on the left ya’ll!