I don’t want to do it.

I thought I did.  I’ve thought about it several different times over the past year.  But I don’t want to leave this piece of internet.  It’s mine.  It basically got me through my first pregnancy with some form of comic relief, socialization, and gripe release.

I saw all of your wonderful comments about how you all would come with me and it made me so happy.

So for now, I will stay where I’m at, gripe freely, and not feel bad about my own dang feelings!  They’re MINE too!  I can’t expect every person (Because it’s been several people) who has directly or indirectly prompted me to stop this whole thing to know what it actually means to me right now.  I won’t be bullied out of it.   I need this.  I need my little cozy spot.


My last weekend and most of this week sucked.

Saturday was the dreaded time change.  Ultimately it didn’t matter that I had planned this transition because Harper started to hardcore teeth during the day.  Let me assure you, it did not end that night.  She acted like her whole world was falling apart no matter what I would do!  She was soaking wet with fever.  She was sad.  I was sad.  MY back hurt.  BAD.  But it didn’t matter because she’s more important than my back.  I finally got her to bed at 8….she screamed until 9.  I’m not really for letting my kid scream, but nothing would help.  I hold her, she screams and kicks to get free, she had already eaten, she’d been changed, she had baby oragel, she had a dose of tylenol for her fever, she was just over the whole tooth thing.

9 rolls around and I’m all like “holy Jesus thank you Lord ***holy dance***, now I’m going to bed!!!!

10 rolls around.  She’s screaming again.  I get her back to sleep with milk and oragel.

11 rolls around.  Guess what?  Yea you got it.

12 rolls around…….omygosh…..REALLY!?

1am SMACKS ME IN THE FACE.  I fill her face with yummy milk and her next timed dose of tylenol for fever.

Luckily I don’t hear her again until 6ish….John can get that one.  I’m staying right the heck where I’m at with my bum back and squished bladder.

Sunday was a bad morning in my own home. Nobody was happy. Sunday I get to go to work.  Which is good.  I needed that.  I really did.

Monday and Tuesday nights were met with nightmares, back pain, AND THIS FREAKING HEADACHE THAT STILL LINGERS TODAY.

I suspect that it was from crying the weekend, creating pressure behind my eyes, but could it be something else?

Iron pills – Check

Caffeine – Check

Lots of water – Check

Food – Triple Check

BP fine? – Check

I hear pets lower stress and blood pressure, and produce better health overall.  So I called in a professional.

El Tomino

Screeetchhh ma ear

Get in there Tom, don’t hold back any…

I’m a disaster, but Tom is really holding up.



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8 thoughts on “I don’t want to do it.

  1. Your Tom reminds me of my Scandal. He came at laid by my belly last night for a while. He has really been afraid of me since she kicked him once, so it meant that he knew I was nervous and anxious.

  2. Headaches make everything worse 😦

    Have you ever heard of amber teething necklaces? I used one with both of my girls and they were awesome!

    Hope you start feeling better soon! Glad to hear you’ll be staying 🙂

  3. Glad you took the tough cookie route and are doing what is best for you regardless of whatever “advice”/”constructive criticism” you’re getting. My blog has been tremendous release and a sanity mender for me. Sometimes you just have to tell people where they can take their opinion and do for your own good. Hope next week is better and brighter, dear 😉

    Glad to see you have the aid of such a competent professional. Keep doing your thing where you want to be. No matter what you do you can’t please everyone 😉 Cheers!

  4. I stopped blogging because MIL was all “I don’t want strangers hearing every little detail about my grandson.” But I totally miss the out put and the community. Juggling multiple blogs is a hassle so I even gave that up. I have decided though that I do want to blog so soon I’m going to start again and when I want to post a ranting, deep, yelling at strangers post that my MIL will hate; I’ll pop a password on it or mark it private and she gets to think that I won’t let anyone else see it.
    Yes blogging is a strange mix of public and personal but it’s the personal bit that means YOU get to choose how and where you do it, no one else.

  5. I agree about blogging… it’s just a great outlet (even if nobody is reading it!) I am using it as a pregnancy journal, but one that my mom and sister, and anyone who is going through something similar can read. It gives you a platform for your rants and raves, and at the same time reminds you that you’re not alone!!

    And cats are the best… they always seem to know when you need a cuddle!

  6. I’m glad that you’re sticking around! I just found your blog & total relate to a lot of the things you post. So thank you for sticking around. 🙂 Never let people make you feel bad for what you write on YOUR BLOG. It’s YOURS. It’s not theirs. They have no right to try and censor you or tell you that what you’re doing is wrong in a means to make you feel bad. Just delete the comments that make you feel bad or take whatever constructive critisism you can from it & move along because for every person who has something bad to say, there are atleast two people who love what you’ve shared, and I truely believe that.

    Anywhooo, could your cat be any cuter? No, I didn’t think so. 😉

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