Booby traps


I found a great article on breastfeeding via my friend Theek over at the Laotian Commotion! (Thanks, Theek!!)

Almost every aspect of the article rang true with my own breastfeeding experiences! Here is the link to the article: HERE .

I’ll touch on some of it’s topics that are my favorites!

“Your mother (or step-mother, or mother-in-law, or mentor), didn’t breastfeed, so she can’t show you how, share her experience, or tell you what to expect. Not so with burping and diapers. At worst, our mothers may be uncomfortable with breastfeeding, have unresolved feelings of guilt or anger, be prey to myths and misinformation, and intentionally or unintentionally undermine us. While we understand that the previous generation didn’t know better, like seatbelts and sunscreen, it is a tough issue to deal with when we are at our most vulnerable as new mothers. At best, our mothers want to support us, but don’t know how. – Cultural Booby Trap!”

All of the women family in my life told me they did not have success with breastfeeding. It was discouraging to hear that so many of my own kind couldn’t do it. Right on spot with having the other knowledge of changing diapers and such! My sister in law taught us how to be pros!

 

“The clock is ticking and your husband or partner hates to see you suffer and struggle, so he tells you ”it’s okay to give the baby formula, I wasn’t breastfed and I turned out fine,” instead of helping you get expert help to fix the problem. He means well, but he doesn’t know any better either. You go online and don’t realize you are swimming in a sea of misinformation–even from well-respected, popular parenting sites. You go to a breastfeeding website, and it is either totally unappealing, or the language is so technically scientific, it’s over your head.- Cultural Booby Trap!”

John wanted me to lose all the guilt I was feeling with breast feeding for sure! I knew he meant well, but it just confirmed to me that I wasn’t doing good enough and that killed me. I had to have a talk with him about the F word. Formula haha! I told him that I would decide when. ONLY ME. And I’d let him know when I could no longer help Harper with just my supply. That’s exactly how we did it.

 

“Miraculously, you get help, stick it out, go to great lengths to leave the room every time you nurse the baby, yet yourmother-in-law and friends are uncomfortable with breastfeeding, so they ask you “when are you going to give that baby a bottle,” or make comments to your husband that perpetuate myths and misinformation. – Cultural Booby Trap!”

I encountered SEVERAL folks that were uncomfortable handling my stored milk, and they all let me know. It made me feel shameful that I’d brought it over. I shouldn’t have to be ashamed of the awesome nutrients I pack for my baby, and breast milk is NOT gross! I was sort of prepared for this when hearing a coworker make a ride comment to another coworker when she put her breast milk in the fridge. Comments I got more than once by more than one person was “maybe your milk is bad” or “maybe she doesn’t like your milk” or “your milk must give her gas”…there were several others along that line, and they all made me feel like garbage. I also was taken aback by my friends and family making fun of mothers who chose to breast feed after the first year. 😦

 

THIS TIME I WILL BE PREPARED!!!!!! I will have a talk with John about the F word so he doesn’t put himself in a situation where he could be smacked. I will address any comments that offend me, make me feel guilty, or make me feel like less of a mom. After all, people don’t know they’ve offended you, unless you let them know, and usually it wasn’t their intention so they will apologize and try not to repeat the same mistake!

Hope you guys liked the article!

XOXO

BEll

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8 thoughts on “Booby traps

    • It’s hard to hear discouraging comments when you’re already so worn down, and probably already feeling mother’s guilt! Even though you know they’re trying to help or didn’t mean to offend, it doesn’t make it sting any less. I also felt like some people didn’t count pumping as breast feeding even though Harper was 100% breast milk fed! It would tick me off lol I worked hard to get that milk for her and they’re just trying to say it’s not the same milk if it’s not straight from the tap?!

  1. One thing I have learned, looking back at when Ada was a newborn, is to follow your motherly instincts no matter what anyone else says!! Scott thought he was trying to help, but he would make comments that were very unsupportive at times about breast feeding. He saw that I was having a lot of pain in the beginning (it hurt Bad…. I now know I had thrush and didn’t realize it. Ouch!), and he would say that he thought breast feeding was only for 0-6 weeks old. Lol. It was very hard on me to not have his support during that time. But now he is very glad to not have to pay $200 a month for formula. Ada is 8.5 months and still nursing. We’ve come a long way and I’m so glad I stuck with it!! Glad you’ve got your game face on for the next one lol. I’m sure you’ll do great at not letting others get to you about this!

    • I keep repeating “they’re just trying to help…they’re just trying to help”!! But if they’re not…….tell them to cut it out! When you’re already feeling mother’s guilt, it’s hard not to think that people are just TRYING to hurt your feelings or make you feel even worse! Ada is such a healthy girl, I know that makes you feel wonderful that YOU GREW THAT! 🙂 That is the best because nobody can take credit for her nutrition- just Mommy!

  2. Oh my goodness, that’s a lot to deal with! Especially the family being uncomfortable and making you feel uncomfortable! I find it’s almost the opposite here, they all expect you to be nursing and have opinions if you don’t! Good luck! I imagine second time around it will be a whole lot easier.

  3. I am wanting to breastfeed, but no one I know has breastfed… My mom didn’t and my sister didn’t. My fiance’s ex-wife didn’t breastfeed their kids either, so he doesn’t know what to expect. I’m worried about it! I want to do it for all of the benefits, but I’m scared I won’t have the right support either. :-/

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