The day I wanted to shake a grown woman.


I know I whine about being pregnant and even about being a parent in general. I can see how it would rub some people the wrong way, I really do. I feel like I keep it to a low level “I love my kid, but she’s really pushing my buttons today”. I think that’s okay. It’s what I feel sometimes. Not all of the times. I never wish she wasn’t here, I don’t feel like I take granted for what I have with her, or with our new one. It’s nice to vent.

That being said, and knowing I’m tolerant to other’s whining about their pregnancy/children, don’t over do it, people.

Today, as I sat in a salon, I overheard a lady complaining to the extent that I thought to myself “why don’t you just give your kids to someone who wants them”?!??! It was that bad. I’m not sure I’ve ever found myself in front of a regular looking mother thinking that.

First of all, it’s clear I’m pregnant. Even men will ask about the baby. When men inquire about the bump, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU’RE PREGNANT.

Secondly, I sat in the chair next to the lady, so if she didn’t get a glimpse of my body blocking sunlight from the front window of the salon, she can see it now.

THIRD, my stylist made a comment about my pregnancy. So there it is, verbally confirmed that I am indeed, with child.

About 30 seconds into my sitting, the girl who is getting styled next to me starts to tell her stylist about her 2 children. (Picture a medium/high class looking lady with s wedding band on about to pay for a pricy hair coloring)

  • “If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t have had a second because they’re terrible!!!!”
  • “I should’ve learned with my first.”
  • “They just scream ALL the time, I figured out after 3 months that they were just testing me.”
  • “Nobody tells you how much they cry ALL THE TIME”
  • “She just never wanted to latch on because she was stubborn and wanted more attention”
  • “I thought about having another but then the second would have middle child syndrome and I really can’t deal with that, they just think it’s ALL about them, marsha marsha marsha!!!!”
  • “I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE TEND TO SHAKE BABIES AROUND 3-4 MONTHS OLD”

WHAT THE F?

(That’s only half of what she said because my pregnancy brain has kicked in)

Thoughts running through my head:

  • “Should I just go shake HER…RIGHT NOW?”
  • “Is she specifically talking about this because she saw I was pregnant?”
  • “There’s no way she knows if it’s even my first baby!!!”
  • “Where are her kids now?!”

Shortly after the 3 minute bashing of her babies, my stylist came back with my hair color and asked if this was my first baby. I just responded loudly with “No it’s not my first, but if it were, I would be scared to death after listening to these girls next to me!!”

Maybe I’m being overly judgmental. Maybe she was in a bad place and is normally a good person. I have bad days too. I have days that I will turn on a movie for Harper and go lay down because she’s just been overwhelming…but even in my most desperate, frustrated, sad times I’ve never ever ever ever ever thought about hurting her! EVER. I certainly would never joke about wanting to hurt her either!

That conversation is going to stick with me forever now. If her kids had heard the things she said, they would think Mommy hates them. I thought she hate them, and if she could just pack up and leave them, she would! I think if her kids get sick she probably just says they’re doing it to get attention and locks them in their room to tough it out!

If you ever catch me saying things about my children that would make it seem like I hate them, CALL ME OUT. Text or call me if you know me, email me if you don’t know me, comment on the blog if you don’t want to email! This lady needed a reality check from someone. I’d hope my people would check me quick!

Well, let me close with a picture of my toy-rich child.

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XOXO

Bell

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7 thoughts on “The day I wanted to shake a grown woman.

  1. Ick. She wouldn’t latch because she wants more attention? Yeah right. I pray to God she was just venting and blowing smoke up her butt and doesn’t actually want to shake any babies. And if so, I pray for those babies!

  2. She sounds awful. I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt in my head, and think maybe she just got colicky, high-needs babies, when a lot of family/friends had easy ones? It can be easy to fall into that “comparing babies” trap. But really…that has nothing to do with it. It’s not about the situation, it’s about how you choose to interact with the situation that defines character.

    Really, if that’s how she feels, she needs to be venting or talking to someone in an ACTUAL safe space, a la therapy or religious leader, instead of a salon where it’s likely a lot of other customers have children and do not sympathize with her alleged attention-whoring latching-issues children.

  3. Omg! I have my days with Lucy and have even vented a time or two on my own blog about first time parent frustrations – who hasn’t, maybe even joked about selling her to the gypsies next door, but she should’ve been checked. Her poor kids. Even if she was just venting about a bad day, what’s it like at 3am when they’re up vomiting/tummy ache/ can’t sleep/ pay back for your own childhood kind of nights when even the calmest of parents slip? That’s a chilling thought.

  4. I think we all have moments where we are frustrated with the baby/kid, but we still love them and live for the moments where they give us that huge smile! The things she said were unbelievable, but she made her bed… I just feel bad for her poor kids!!!

  5. I think the worst part was that she just kept going ON AND ON AND ON about them!! I expected her to throw in something positive like “but they are so precious now, all that hard work was worth it”, but nothing like that ever came! I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve been frustrated before and just had to put harper down for her nap and go outside to garden so I wouldn’t have a meltdown of my own by hearing her scream. I would just keep the monitor on and check it every few minutes to make sure she had her pacifier. As a mom, you gotta get yourself in a good place if you go to a bad place. As long as you don’t leave the house, you can get away for a few minutes of quiet by pulling weeds or washing the car real quick! (assuming baby’s been fed changed burped and isn’t sick that is). I am so incredibly blessed to have a house across the street with angels for neighbors. They’re very religious, have 4 kids, and are always offering to help us. They will help us even when we don’t ask. They offer to take harper for an hour or 2 whenever I feel like I’m not okay with this pregnancy, and we trust them whole heartedly. They even took off work early one day when I had to make a trip to the hospital so Harper would have somewhere to go! Maybe the lady in the salon didn’t have anyone…who knows!

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