Wantings and learnings


Things I want for our daughter:

  • To always feel like she can come to her parents for advice or help, even when she’s screwed up.
  • For her to feel like she has a best friend in her brother.
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  • For her to feel like I am her best friend when she gets into her late teens, and I get to be cool again.
  • For her to WANT to be around her parents.
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  • For her to feel like she has a good relationship model to follow.
  • For her to pick up on only John and I’s good traits like: genuinely loving people in the world, thoughtfulness, intelligence, the love of a close family, and our humor to an extent. 🙂
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    See, look at how thoughtful it was for her to write up this birthday letter to her Uncle Colten?!

  • For her to establish her own favorite traditions with us and to always have them to look back at fondly.
  • For her to see the closeness of a family first hand.
  • For her to have true, long-lasting friends, and have the ability to drop the ones who aren’t in her best interest.
  • To be confident.
  • To know that she should help people, even if there is no return for her.
  • To not use or witness aggressive language. I don’t mean, “let’s not curse around the baby”, what I mean is that she doesn’t need to be exposed to hostile or inappropriate conversations. I don’t want to raise a child that we are comfortable telling to “shut up”. I know others do it, and it doesn’t screw their kids up, but in the last year I have thought long and hard on that phrase, and how much I don’t want it to ever be used towards her. It’s so hostile, if my parents talked that way to me, I would have some major issues right now. Especially if they were to ever curse AT me. If I were a child being cursed at, I would probably think my parents didn’t love me if they were that angry. When I witness other kids being put in situations like that, it hurts MY feelings (empathy big time)!

Things I’ve already learned from our Daughter:

  • That I really DO have patience. It may have never been prominent in my life before, and may not be evident in tasks that don’t involve her, but I have learned a level of patience that only a mother has.
  • That I mean a lot to her, if she ever thinks I am hurt or sad (even though she’s 14 months old) she will come sit in my lap or cry if she thinks I’m in danger.
  • To be confident. I’ve been shown OVER AND OVER AND OVER again that if I just listen to my own instincts, things will get better. People are always there to question why I do certain things with her, why I didn’t do certain things with her, or people that will just let me know I don’t do enough for her. I’ve learned to just say “well, this is how we do it, and that’s how it’s going to be.” She wouldn’t be the kind of perfect she is today without some of the decisions I’ve made.
  • To preserver. Whether it be breast feeding, cloth diapering, helping her be physically active, I have learned that if I just stick with it, good things will come of it. It doesn’t matter if anyone else is backing me up either, I can do it. She will help me.
  • Extreme empathy. I’ve always shared the feelings of others. It could be my family, friends, or a total stranger. You cry, I cry is the motto I believe. A whole new level appears with your own child. The only true times I’ve ever felt like my heart was being broken was when she was in pain. It’s a feeling I can only describe as someone ripping your heart out. No break up compares to it. I share it with her, I cry with her, I hurt with her.

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What are some things you want for your kids?

XOXO

Bell

 

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3 thoughts on “Wantings and learnings

  1. I love this… those are pretty much the same things I want for my babe! And I can’t believe how much we learn from them as well… you think that as a mother, you just giv, give, give. But you get so much back in the form of love, loyalty, and even life experience!

  2. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve learned so much about myself since becoming a mom & The boys have taught me so much too. Being a mom makes you feel more like a woman than anything…there’s something empowering about bringing life into this world.

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