- If I wash this baby’s head, he won’t smell like baby anymore.
- If I take him out of his carseat in public, a ninja baby snatcher will appear and steal him from me.
- That his runny right eye is not from a “clogged tear duct” as the doctor told me, but it’s really from his first day home, when he peed in his own eye.
- I suffer from shower schizophrenia. I hear baby cries the entire shower. Nobody is crying in the house.
- The baby doesn’t care much for me when I take a shower and wash the “boob smell” off.
These things are all true and legit.
They just are.
“Two of my favorite things, Mommy”
birminghambell 
Ugh, I still hear crying my whole shower!
I heard crying from the shower for the first 8 months of Harpers life I think!! The worst is when it’s real crying and you have a head full of shampoo…because surely she’s crying because she is dying! Not sure why I would always hop outta the shower to go console her- 5 more minutes wouldn’t hurt and I’d get to condition my hair!
Lol. I had the same problem with schizophrenia! And holy boobies!!
Ha!!! In that pic it looks Like he’s thinking “my preciouuuuuussss”!!!!!
He definitely is!
I also hear phantom baby cries – it was the same way when we had just gotten our youngest dog and was potty training her – I always imagined hearing her whine.
I’m convinced that the new baby smell is actually breast milk haha
Lol! Mom thoughts, right? I could add about a million of my own to the list 😉