I don’t want to do it.


I thought I did.  I’ve thought about it several different times over the past year.  But I don’t want to leave this piece of internet.  It’s mine.  It basically got me through my first pregnancy with some form of comic relief, socialization, and gripe release.

I saw all of your wonderful comments about how you all would come with me and it made me so happy.

So for now, I will stay where I’m at, gripe freely, and not feel bad about my own dang feelings!  They’re MINE too!  I can’t expect every person (Because it’s been several people) who has directly or indirectly prompted me to stop this whole thing to know what it actually means to me right now.  I won’t be bullied out of it.   I need this.  I need my little cozy spot.

THE BLOG CONTINUES!  SO HERE:

My last weekend and most of this week sucked.

Saturday was the dreaded time change.  Ultimately it didn’t matter that I had planned this transition because Harper started to hardcore teeth during the day.  Let me assure you, it did not end that night.  She acted like her whole world was falling apart no matter what I would do!  She was soaking wet with fever.  She was sad.  I was sad.  MY back hurt.  BAD.  But it didn’t matter because she’s more important than my back.  I finally got her to bed at 8….she screamed until 9.  I’m not really for letting my kid scream, but nothing would help.  I hold her, she screams and kicks to get free, she had already eaten, she’d been changed, she had baby oragel, she had a dose of tylenol for her fever, she was just over the whole tooth thing.

9 rolls around and I’m all like “holy Jesus thank you Lord ***holy dance***, now I’m going to bed!!!!

10 rolls around.  She’s screaming again.  I get her back to sleep with milk and oragel.

11 rolls around.  Guess what?  Yea you got it.

12 rolls around…….omygosh…..REALLY!?

1am SMACKS ME IN THE FACE.  I fill her face with yummy milk and her next timed dose of tylenol for fever.

Luckily I don’t hear her again until 6ish….John can get that one.  I’m staying right the heck where I’m at with my bum back and squished bladder.

Sunday was a bad morning in my own home. Nobody was happy. Sunday I get to go to work.  Which is good.  I needed that.  I really did.

Monday and Tuesday nights were met with nightmares, back pain, AND THIS FREAKING HEADACHE THAT STILL LINGERS TODAY.

I suspect that it was from crying the weekend, creating pressure behind my eyes, but could it be something else?

Iron pills – Check

Caffeine – Check

Lots of water – Check

Food – Triple Check

BP fine? – Check

I hear pets lower stress and blood pressure, and produce better health overall.  So I called in a professional.

El Tomino

Screeetchhh ma ear

Get in there Tom, don’t hold back any…

I’m a disaster, but Tom is really holding up.

Attack!

xoxo

Oh and if you have time, vote for us on top baby blogs by clicking HERE!

Has anyone…


ever been pregnant and had a dream that someone took their baby away from them?  

I was having a rough night a few nights ago, went through an almost sleepless night and had the worst dream ever.  

The only bit I remember of the dream is that I was holding my baby (I’m almost certain, the boy) and a man burst into wherever I was, and told me he was taking my baby from me and proceeded to rip him from my arms.  I don’t remember if he got away or if he even got the baby from me.  I woke up out of breath freaking out, and have been thinking about it every since!  I’ve already got issues about something happening to my baby(ies) as it is, this dream does NOT help me out any!

I’ve found myself obsessing as to whether I can feel baby move the past couple of days and I feel like today I haven’t felt anything.  I’m so glad next week will be our 5 month appointment!

When I lived alone, I would OFTEN have dreams of losing people I loved.  In terrible ways too!  They were the worst nightmares of my life!  But this is probably the worst one during this pregnancy.

I need my brain to sleep at night too, and quit wondering around in other places.

 

XOXO

Bell

I’ve been thinking…


about posting up somewhere else in the blog world and just halting this for now.  Or just picking up an extra piece of internet real estate for my own sanity and only taking my non personal followers with me.   Get it?   If you want to come with me, and you’re one of my friends in far far away land, comment here (via an established wordpress account) and I will send you the new site once it’s established!  I would like to take as many of you with me as possible to the new spot!

 

See you when I get there!!

 

XOXO

Bell

Can I get an amen?!


I’ve discovered there are certain things, that when cleaned, never get noticed. The following items are like a bar tip jar, if nobody sees you do them, they don’t really count:

Scrubbing the inside of a toilet
Sweeping
Mopping with unscented cleaner
Scraping burnt stuff of the stove
Wiping down tubs or showers
Dusting (assuming you don’t let it get an inch thick)
Washing the sheets (assuming all your sheets are the same color)

Anything else I’m missing?

She loves him…


She just does. Fake Tom is her BFF.

But why?

I am pretty sure it’s because for 7 months, REAL Tom laid on top of her and kept her warm (er).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But when she came out into the real world, Tom looks at here with these

big SCARED eyes…like she’s a Rottweiler and he his her next meal. Not to say that she wouldn’t try to lick or eat the cat, because she totally would.

So we birthed fake Tom to take his place.

20121101-220652.jpg

20121101-220727.jpg

And he’s sort of a dead ringer for the real Tom right?!

So here we have it folks, our lovey.  I’ve already bought a back up fake Tom just incase something tragic were to happen to our first one!

I hope everyone is snuggling with their own version of fake Tom tonight!

XOXO

Last year…


I was watching THIS on Halloween day in my bed.  CRAY.

All the years (well starting at the age of 19) before that, I spend MONTHS paroozing barely there costumes and spending WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too much on a costume made from 1/4 a yard of fabric.

I spent the couple of days leading up to Halloween basically starving and dehydrating myself so that I would look even skinnier than I was.  How stupid was I?  I look back at those photos and wonder what the heck I was thinking….I mean not to toot my own horn, but compared to post baby now, my body was freakin’ delish.  I didn’t need to deprive myself of anything to parade around in next to nothing!   You’ll just have to take my word on it since I really can’t post those pictures for people I’ve never met around the globe to look at.

On second thought, I can put one up cropped.  A friend of mine says to put up a picture with every post….ya know because that’s what the people want.

The hipster of 2010.

They were fun times.  REALLY fun times.  I’m glad I had them, but I’m also glad they are behind me.  I lived, I had fun, I probably almost died a few times too…but those times are just over.  Maybe in  a couple of years I can get myself a semi sexy costume, but never again like the ones I used to wear.  And never to take my kid out in, or to use to replace the holiday with her either..  After all, one day, she will look at me as her example and want to do everything I do.  Lord help.

This brings me to my next thought, what happens when my daughter asked if I did certain NOTOKFORMYDAUGHTERTODO things?  Do I lie?  There are questions that I KNOW she will ask when she is a teenager.  Questions that I’m ashamed to answer…and I wonder if my truthful answer will validate her own quests for fun as being okay.  I realize this is about oh…14-16 years away…but I feel like I need that much time to prepare each and every answer so that my kid will not be doing the things I did, even if they were fun at the time!  I mean, my parents weren’t hell raisers, and I still did some STUPID STUPID STUPID (fun) things!  :p  Will I be smart enough having all my shenanigans experience to catch her before she does the stupid things?  Will it be legal to put trackers in her purse and car?  Will she pay me back for the grey hairs I’ve caused my own parents to sprout?

I guess one thing I can always say, is I’ve never been to jail.  That’s all I have right now.  Maybe I can phrase my answers like this:  “Honey, I never did anything that caused me to be taken to jail in my lifetime.”   Can I answer all of the questions like that?

Any suggestions for the next 13-15 years will be great.

I hope everyone had a great halloween!

And if you’re feeling frisky, go vote for me HERE on top baby blogs!  You can vote everyday, so don’t worry if you’ve voted before!

XOXO

BELL

Happy Halloween!


Three of those pumpkins came from our patch!

Angry because I wanted to hold her up from her expedition

Angry zebra.

She’s fine now that she’s free.

Hittin’ the streets.

Yay

Ridin’

Eyeballing her target…

Now, pull the TARGET out of The Mommy’s head!!

18 Weeek Post (almost)


Here we are at 18 weeks already!!!  2 weeks from HALFWAY, people!!!!   That’s crazy. 

The bump:

Image

Image

Here is the skinny on what’s happening:
Size of the baby: He’s about the size of a pear.  Five and 1/2 inches long, and about 7 ounces.  He can move, yawn, and hiccup.  Over the next four weeks, the baby’s size will increase SIX TIMES.  WOW.

Weight gain: 10 lbs.

Gender: Boy!!!!

Movement: I feel him move almost everyday if I take the time to lay down and be still for him. 

Sleep: Terrible!  I go to bed around midnight and wake up like clock work at 4:30 needing to pee!  Then as soon as I fall back asleep, Johns alarm goes off.  The baby is up between 0830-0930.

what I miss: Naps.  My naps are hardly ever successful.

Cravings: Fried pickles, pizza, chocolate pie, pumpkin bread pudding, and orange or apple juice.

Symptoms: The nausea is gone for the most part.  Once a week it will sneak up on me FAST and I will  have to either council myself about not needing to throw up, or if we are past that phase, just go get sick, pout a few minutes, and it’s all over.  Just as quickly as it came.  Strange.  My back and hips have been KILLING ME.  My hips feel like I have been thrown out of a window while sitting Indian style so that when I hit the ground I hit with my hips and but cheeks.  They’re even sore to the touch!

Best moment this week:Getting some cute pictures of our family!  And also getting some time with a friend!

Worst moment this week:The way my hips have felt today.

That’s all folks.

XOXO
Bell

If you have time, please vote for my blog on Top Baby Blogs by clicking HERE! Just hit the owl on the left, and your vote is submitted!