For as long as I can remember I have been picking at my nail quick skin and clipping off parts of my callus feet skin with nail clippers. I have a condition called dermatillomania . I assume it is a way to release anxiety.
I can tell I’ve had anxiety problems way far back than I originally thought. I’m pretty sure I was dealing with the dermatillomania when I was around 8-10 years old. My grandmother noticed it once…I don’t even remember what she said to my mom about it. I probably lied about what I’d been doing. I wonder what they thought.
Sometimes I go over and over and over my childhood and try to remember why I would be doing that so young- but it’s all really hazy. The really good times are vivid, and the really bad times are vivid. Not much in-between that, do I recall. I think that I will carefully watch Harper to try to recognize any signs like I had.
Well there, I’m out of the closet. Cat’s out of the bag. Boom!