Statistically speaking…


I am almost always hungry.

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Note the almost MIDNIGHT time stamp on this one.

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Those things really happened. With this pregnancy I am SO HUNGRY!!!!!! Even though I do get nauseated, it’s not every single day like my first. I have about 1-2 BAD days a week, I’ll take that.

Things that make me turn green:

  • The smell of grease.
  • Any lingering smell in general, I can’t sit in a restaurant on even a moderately good day without turning various shades of green.  I’m a to-go person now.
  • The sight of liquor.  GAG.  Even if it’s on my TV.
  • Wet paper.  “What?  Why do you have wet paper?”  Sometimes the baby will find a little piece of a napkin or a little piece of cardboard from one of her toy’s packaging and stick it in her mouth.  This makes wet paper.
  • Old bananas.  I don’t make a practice of keeping old nasty bananas lying around…but recently, I let Harper munch down on some for breakfast and she stored a few pieces in her high chair crack.  Every time one is discovered, I have to have a little conference with myself about not hurling.
  • Hearing SOMEONE burp.    Men…….

Recap of a few weekend moments:

Friday was the day the baby went crazy.  SOMETHING happened.  SOMETHING.  She was MAD.  Furious.  In a state of inconsolable rage.

WHERE DID MY BABY GO?!?!!?!  AND WHO IS THIS CHILD SOMEONE REPLACED HER WITH:

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After a good 30 minutes of an inconsolable baby, she gathered herself together and had fun with our company…while sniffling for about an hour after because it was SO BAD.

If there’s one word of the weekend I would have to pick CHEESE.
She likes cheese. I like that she likes cheese. I like to watch her eat cheese. She leaves MY food alone when she eats cheese. She doesn’t yell at me when she eats cheese. I also like to eat cheese.

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Today after being in constant state of green, I was able to get Harper to take a nap with me. She never does this for me anymore.
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I hope your weekend was filled with a little less green and a lot more cookout.

Oh and btw- click HERE to vote for our blog on Top Baby Blogs!!! 🙂
-Bell

We gots issues.


So lately Harper and I have had an issue.  Well It’s more like an issue she has with other people…not including me.

She’s decided that she will only eat baby food from me, and fights it with everyone else.

What’s up with that?  It’s SO frustrating:

  1. because I worry when I leave her in someone else’s care they can’t follow my meal plan instructions for her.
  2. that when John his home, he is reluctant to feed her baby food because she gives him an extra hard time.
  3. that others have to give her a bottle instead of baby food, which makes her poop LIQUID and SUPER STINKY!!!! (making me think the milk doesn’t sit well with her)
  4. because I know it stresses out anyone I ask to watch her when feeding time rolls around.

 

Why does she eat so well with me?  She eats 1.5-2 packages every sitting with me, but when with others, only eats 1/2 a container!

 

These are my possible answers as to why:

  1. Maybe others don’t recognize which foods need to be phased into her favorite foods so she will like the taste more.  Somehow I have a sense of what she doesn’t want because of taste.  I know…I have an extreme advantage of knowing her best.
  2. Others give up when she starts to go into ANGRY BIRD mode.  I understand that completely.  She flails her arms around, tries to throw the food in the floor, and SCREAMS!!!  It’s easy to be defeated during that.
  3. Others just don’t have my ninja skill set for feeding my child.  I have tricks and dances that tend to work if she starts to go downhill.  When I know she is still hungry and is just fussing, I MAKE her eat.  She’s not allowed to leave the chair until she’s satisfied my food in baby quota.

 

I did my normal “scour the internet” thing and realized nobody in the world has this same problem.  Or they aren’t on google.  🙂

The next step in helping with this is figuring out how to remedy it.

I want to try:

  1. Asking others to feed her more routinely so that she gets used to it.
  2. Adding a few soft table foods to her meal plan…because who doesn’t love to play with their food?
  3. _____________________________________
  4. _____________________________________

Those blanks mean suggestions are greatly appreciated!!!!!

New foods I am considering:

  • Banana pieces
  • Grilled cheese
  • cheese slices
  • tofu
  • french toast
  • waffels
  • scrambled eggs
  • canned green beans
  • macaroni and cheese
  • peas
  • cheese sticks
  • baby tomatoes cut small
  • grapes cut small
  • blueberries

Does anyone out there recommend any fun foods to start to try!?

Munchin’ on her first platter of food!

I hope everything goes good with all these new things we have to try!

Have a good night!
-Bell

Things you may have missed


So I just realized if you only come here from other sites you may have missed a few of my posts because they were created on much earlier dates since I wasn’t ready to release them at that point.  If you want to check them out I updated these:

https://birminghambell.com/2012/07/29/our-little-blastocyst/

https://birminghambell.com/2012/08/06/ahhhhh-crap/

https://birminghambell.com/2012/08/09/i-wish-i-knew-what-week-it-was/

https://birminghambell.com/2012/08/26/the-pits/

Happy blogging!

-Bel

I want these to be a few of my favorite things…


I’m up to my old tricks again.  Scouring the internet for new and different baby items.  So far I NEED these:

1. A Mexican bola necklace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.  Baby Moses bassinet basket

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. 280 days to pop calendar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Pretty nursing pads

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5.  A few maternity hospital gowns (I promise I’ll wear them this time!!!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6.   I need a rental company to let me borrow one of these for the next 7 months

 

 

 

 

 

 

7.  A fetal doppler

8. A vintage love seat to nurse on in baby’s room!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9.  A jean maternity jacket for everyday use!

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10. All the winter pajamas I can handle!!!

There you have it.  My needs.

 Bell

 

Click HERE to vote for us on Top Baby Blogs.

The pits


I’m starting to realize what is happening to me once again… Partum depression.  Yuck.  It makes me cringe to even type it.  You’ll probably never hear me speak it.

I should be super happy, but I’m really not.  I can’t pin point why I’m not, either.  All I know, is that the smallest things send me over the edge into a very sad state.

The most frustrating part about it is the lack of help and understanding from of others so far.

This is the boat I find myself in right now:

1. No local doctors have any openings until late October.  Even though I call them and tell them my pregnancy depression situation.  That is almost enough to make me walk into the appointment resenting the doctor.

2.  John doesn’t really understand why I act the way I do, or why I get sent over the edge over seemingly meaningless things.  Of course, they’re not meaningless to me.

I don’t like being in the boat.

While being a mother, and in “the boat” I automatically shut everyone out thinking about these questions:

If I tell people about the way I feel, will they think I am being a bad mother to Harper?

AM I being a bad mother if I am sad while I take care of Harper?

If I don’t feel close to my unborn baby, will I ever?

If I tell people I don’t feel close to this pregnancy, will they think less of me?

If people know, will they treat me like they feel sorry for me?

Will people think I am strange if I tell them about my extreme anxieties during pregnancy?

Will people think I will have a jacked up baby if I have to take medicine during pregnancy to treat depression or anxiety?

I can only assume that anytime people are afraid of what others think, that is the primary reason for keeping things to themselves.

I guess I am saying these things, only to put them out there.  To let others know HOW I feel, not really WHY I feel that way, or what they can do to help. To let people who want to judge, judge…and to let others dealing with a similar situation know that they’re not alone.

I know it will go away.  100%.  I know this because I’ve already lived it once.  I do consider myself lucky that the feeling lifted itself the very moment Harper was born.  It really was as if God had taken away ALL of those bad feelings as soon as she entered the world.

I guess until I am able to speak with my doctor, I just have to power through this the best way I can.  I know that once I start to hear baby 2.0 kick, I will feel joy and attachment.  At least I hope so.  Those were some of the very happy moments of my pregnancy with Harper.  I knew she was there, I knew she was okay, and it wasn’t just a picture to look at from the doctor, it was a feeling of life inside of me.  I need that to happen soon.  Since I am at 8 weeks right now, maybe I can expect it in 7-10 weeks.  Until then, I may be using the blog as my prenatal release.  Do enjoy!  Even the bad posts! 🙂

-Bell

I posted this and sat on it privately for about a week. I’ve looked at it fifty times (not for any kind of poor grammar, but to agonize over what I was exposing to others.) I can’t look at it anymore, I just have to send it on it’s way into the universe that is the internet.

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Sandwiches, cream soda, and snobiz.


After a solid week of myself nagging John about the ratio of time spent with his friends, video games, and football, I got a nice date in the park. Jersey Mikes, cream soda, cheesy poofs, and SNOBIZ!!!!! (I also got some pretty roses!)

_____

Busted

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______________
SNOBIZ!!!
______________

______________

______________ 

MOM…it tastes funny!!!

______________

Notice how we had to restrain her arms?? I think if I ever go to the Snobiz alone, I’ll try to swaddle her to provide maximum son cone eating efficiency.

Hope everyone had a good Thursday as well!!

Click HERE to vote for us on Top Baby Blogs. (and if you’re feelin’ frisky, you can do it every 24 hours!)

Love,
Bell

I am a bacon eating procrastinator.


It should be of no surprise to find out I love bacon. LOVE BACON. Here is what I created after scouring the internet for bacon popsicle recipes. Of course I was a little lazy and just used a popsicle I had at the house. It served its purpose.
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I am investigating other forms of bacon art.  I’ve even convinced John to throw a bacon themed football party, in which everyone attending will bring a dish made with bacon in it.  Do other people like bacon this much?  I’m sure there are a few.

Moving along…I forgot to document our weeks latest adventures!  On Monday, after a little work and a little play, I brought Miss Snuggles home.  Usually she won’t be this calm and snuggly…I don’t question that.  I just take whatever she has to give.  She decided to do this with me for about 5 minutes.  It was lovely.

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Once The Daddy got home, I set Harper up in front of the TV in the Bumbo…she kept making this face:

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Yea, that’s my leg to the right of her. She is gripping it with everything she has…I think it’s a tactic to keep me from escaping.

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Next week, I am on a mission to find a cheap copy of Monster’s, Inc.  Just to prepare for next years big release of Monsters inc 2!!!!

I have been searching near and far for a BOO costume that Harper can wear on Halloween this year…but I’m so disappointed.  Every one I find is for a size 4/5 or higher, not to mention UBER expensive!!!   I’m almost ready to give in and start making one myself.

Hope you had a good monday!  (Yea, I realize today is Thursday-sue me.)

Click HERE to help us to the top of Top Baby Blogs!!!

Love,

Bell

I wish I knew what week it was…



In accordance with my calculations, this should be week week 5-6…….BUT I wish I knew for sure!!!!  I guess we’ll find out in 2 weeks.  That’s entirely too long, but it’s the only time they could get me in at my dr.  I can only assume this means she is awesome.

After my earlier brush with nausea, I feel better on a pretty regular basis.  Of course, I phoned my dr the very next am asking for phenergan 2 minutes after the office opened….ya know, just in case.  I’m still super nervous that I will be worshiping the porcelain gods on a daily basis.  At least I’m stocked up vomit meds in advance.

Things related to pregnancy this week:

  1. Being a little green.
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  3. Weepiness.
  4. EXTREME dry mouth…….until nausea hits….then I’m stuck with that “always watering” mouth that makes ya even more sick!!  Yuck.
  5. Peeing every 10 minutes…with urgency.
  6. Fatigue.
  7. I can’t stop googling “baby things”…….I recently discovered that Restoration Hardware carries baby stuff.  I want it all.  But we would live in a box.  Must…..Hold…Back………..  CLICK!!!!!

Things unrelated to pregnancy:

  1. I’m pale.  As a ghost.  I can’t blame this on pregnancy, because I hid from the sun all summer with no excuse.  Good thing I still have fake tanner left from Harper’s pregnancy!!!
  2. My roots are showing.  I’m much to lazy to do it myself, or drive to my best friend stylist in Ga.  I don’t have a problem dying my hair…after all, I made a perfect baby the first time without having roots.  Let’s make it happen again!
  3. My knees hurt.  They’ve hurt for months.  It’s like they are creaky.  Are they old?  The rest of me doesn’t feel THAT old.  I think I have old woman knees.

Things I miss:

  1. Nothing yet?  I have plenty of time to miss things later on.  I should probably focus on how good things are right now, instead.
  2. ERRRR…okay I just thought of something I miss…Tom isn’t so ready to sleep on my stomach.  And his big.  How will I ever get the kitty/baby bump combo pics whilst trying to work with an unfocused panther as my subject???  Tom, just give up, I’m still bigger than you.

It’ll be nice when I can make these public.  Until then, I have plenty of time to add or delete stuff for the posts!!!

Ahhhhh…CRAP.


Here I am knocking on the week five’s door, walking in, and realizing I must immediately run to the porcelain god, that I soon bend in half and start to worship. Ughh… I really had been telling myself “THIS time it’s not going to get that bad”…I really hope what just happened was a random event. If not, it’s a precursor to a LONG pregnancy. I hope it’s not that. REALLY hope it’s not.

I guess I should post a little more about my fifth week while I’m on here.

The baby: The size of a sesame seed. Preparing to form the chambers of the heart so that thing can get to jumping around!

The Mommy: Tired and randomly nauseated (only once to the point of actual vomit.). It’s not bad yet…I could deal with it staying where it is right now and not intensifying. Green is not my best color.

The Daddy: Already tired of hearing how The Mommy feels. The Mommy will keep it to herself best she can now.

The belly: Nothin’ yet!! I hear that second time mommies start to pop out around 12-18 weeks! That’s not too terribly far away. So be on the lookout!!

Much love,
Bell

Our little blastocyst.


This year for my birthday I wanted to spend time with my husband and baby bunny #1.

Next year for my birthday I may actually GET baby bunny #2.

We just found out last week that I am expecting!

I was a little SHOCKED.  John was A LOT shocked.

Last year, I was afraid to tell everyone.

This year, I look forward to MANY more congratulations instead!

I’m so blessed that God has given me this gift.  I have wanted to add more love to our family since the very moment I met harper.  It’s odd, because I never wanted any at all.  Funny how life changes so drastically.

How we found out:

I had recently agreed to do an egg donation for a family in another state for an August cycle.  I drove in to collect all the fertility drugs, as well as get some final blood work and ultrasounds done.

I collected my medication, and headed back home.

About 1 hour into my drive, I got a call from the fertility clinic telling me that my blood work resulted in a positive pregnancy test!!! (Do keep in mind that I was absolutely NOT not on any fertility medication AT ALL)   I was torn between emotions.  I was SHOCKED.  I felt guilty for letting the recipient family down.  I felt excited.  I felt nervous.

At the time, the social worker told me that my levels of HCG were so low that it could be a false read.  I was only ONE point above what is considered pregnant.

So I went home, waited a few days for my HCG to triple, then tested at home.  POSITIVE!!!

I feel like this go round, I know what to expect.  Mostly terrible symptoms.  BUT I really am having a good feeling about this one.  I hope this go around, I will be one of those magical unicorn pregnant ladies who find the experience a breeze.   I REALLY WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE LADIES.  Right now, it is too soon to know if I get to be a part of the elite unicorn ladies.  A little bit of hope and knowledge go a long way.  I am definitely going to request nausea meds VERY soon because when/if it happens, buddy it will happen full force.  I want to be ready to tackle it!

I now need to go ahead and find a superwoman cape on etsy since I will be one of those amazing moms that have a small child and are pregnant with the second!  AND hopefully finish all of my core classes to enter the nursing program!

So, pregnancy gods, please have mercy on me this time!

The early 2 week (?) stats:

How far along: 2-3 weeks

Size of baby:  Smaller than a poppy seed.  Much smaller.

Weight gain:  3 lbs.  BECAUSE I found out so early…I want to stock up on a little body fat by eating what I want, JUST IN CASE I get the terrible nausea I got from pregnancy 1.0.

Sleep:  Not that great.  I had to reduce some of my bed time medications that could cause harm to my little blastocyst.  So when I wake up, I am WIDE awake.  And I had just started getting used to 7 hours of sleep!!!!  Dash it all!

Symptoms:  I have been having little twinges of pain where my ovary is, crampy, CRAZY DREAMS AGAIN (but not yet nightmares, so theres a plus!) , increased appetite, and chill bumps every day almost all day!  Weird, right?  Those little symptoms are fine by me!

Things I miss:  I am saying farewell to advil in a couple of days… 😦  I’ll miss that.  Otherwise I don’t miss anything, I have everything.

Things I’m looking forward to:  Planning a creative way to announce to our friends and family we are expecting.  THEN planning a way to have a gender reveal!  I almost want the ultrasound tech to put it in an envelope and not mention to us what the sex is, then set it up in a way where Harper opens it up for us and our family!  But patience is NOT my virtue, so that may not happen.

Red Flags


For as long as I can remember I have been picking at my nail quick skin and clipping off parts of my callus feet skin with nail clippers.  I have a condition called dermatillomania .  I assume it is a way to release anxiety.  

I can tell I’ve had anxiety problems way far back than I originally thought.  I’m pretty sure I was dealing with the dermatillomania when I was around 8-10 years old.  My grandmother noticed it once…I don’t even remember what she said to my mom about it.  I probably lied about what I’d been doing.  I wonder what they thought.  

Sometimes I go over and over and over my childhood and try to remember why I would be doing that so young- but it’s all really hazy.  The really good times are vivid, and the really bad times are vivid.  Not much in-between that, do I recall.  I think that I will carefully watch Harper to try to recognize any signs like I had.

 

Well there, I’m out of the closet.  Cat’s out of the bag.  Boom!

 

Nighty night,

Bell

Meandering


I’ve found myself very anxious over my next trip to the fertility clinic.  They are going to do an ultrasound on my ovaries to make sure that everything is healthy down under.

I’m not sure why I’m so incredibly anxious…maybe it’s the trip.  I know it’s a trip there, then right back home and it’s quiet a few hours to be alone in a car.  But then again, I’ve always been a nervous person.  Always.  Those selfish thoughts of being told that my body won’t produce the eggs of a normal women…that maybe I am damaged inside…that those 2 weeks of injections are going to effect my mood…

Just worries.  Today I’ve stewed in it and picked my lips until they bled, in addition to chewing the quick around my nails completely off.  (It’s my version of biting my nails I guess.)

Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT having second thoughts about doing it.  I’m so hopeful that my recipient family will obtain a child with my donation, or even better, MULTIPLES!

Until a later day,

Bell

Reader questions weekend!


Do you have any time/hassle saving tips for new mothers?

  1. When I change Harper’s diaper, I ALWAYS place a clean diaper underneath the dirty one before I start to change. This way, it’s already in place AND if there is an accident- it just hits the backup diaper! It’s such a life saver.
  2. Change her diaper while she is eating a nighttime bottle (now that she can hold it herself). That way I don’t make her angry for messing with her while she’s trying to go back to sleep. Distraction is key here, people!
  3. We ALWAYS make sure Harper is fed before we bring ourselves up food to eat.
  4. Keep diapers and wipes in EVERY room that you change the baby in!
  5. When feeding solid foods, place a towel underneath so that all spills hit the towel. And BE PATIENT. So many people get frustrated when the baby makes faces, or doesn’t eat as fast as they’d like….in turn, they give-up and say “oh she didn’t like the food you sent her” or “she’s probably just not hungry.” YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR BABY IS HUNGRY. I know. Harper has a hard time eating while there are loud noises or distractions around. And sometimes she legit doesn’t like a certain type of food. In that case we pick her favorite and mix a little of what she doesn’t like in the good stuff.

Is your body back to the same as it was before pregnancy?

I am back to my pre pregnancy weight, in fact I was under 130 for the first time in 2 years last week. YAHOO! But…NO…my body isn’t the same. If it were the same, I could fit into all of my old clothes. This is simply impossible with most of them. EVEN though I’m back to my old weight. My hips are killing me, so I’m just hoping that they hurt from moving back into place.

When did you start baby foods, and what are the best/favorites? Do you give her any table food?

We started stage 1 baby foods at 5 months. It took about 3 days for her to learn how to eat like a pro. Now, she eats stage 2 foods – she LOVES Gerber’s new apples with vanilla. I can mix ANYTHING in that stuff and she will devour it! Sometimes she will eat two jars in one sitting! She really loves carrots too! We are still not ready to give her any table food yet. Some people have made fun of us or tried to make ME feel stupid for not allowing her table food, but she’s my baby and what I say goes. If someone can’t abide by my requests, I simply will lose all trust in them and stay as far away as possible.

What is your daily routine?

Harper wakes up around 8:30am and we go to play for a few minutes.

0930 – She eats her breakfast.

10:00-11:00 we play until / if she gets fussy.

11:00 – if fussy, I give her a 30 minute power nap and grab some grub for myself!

11:45 – She eats AGAIN 🙂

noon-3 we play and have fun.
3- I give her a bottle and put her down for a nap.

5-530 – She wakes up and is ready to play again! I offer her food.

Her last meal is no later than 8:00 so that she will be hungry at 1030 for her last nightly mixed bottle.

She SHOULDN’T wake up until 8-9am that morning!

;

Have you had any problems with people respecting your wishes while they watch your baby? If so, how do you deal with that?

Yes, several times. I’ve let it go and not responded to it SEVERAL times. It’s hard to not just get furious when you know that someone is deliberately going against your wishes. Very hard. When people accidentally do things that I don’t want to happen, I know it is well-meaning. BUT when it’s a blatant disrespect of my wishes, I lose trust and build walls. Immediately. And then those people are forever tagged as possibly unsafe for my daughter. It’s a protective issue I have, I just shut people out when they purposely step on my toes.

How have the events of pregnancy and birth effected you mentally?

Well I suffered from EXTREME IRRATIONAL anxiety after birth for 2 months. Sometimes I get down on myself if I feel like I am not accomplishing much in the housework division when I take care of harper. (ya know of course everyone and their sister will tell you “Well I had 8 kids, a job, and still kept my house spotless”)…suck it. Sometimes I’m afraid that John is overwhelmed by being around both of us, and that makes me sad.

What is the hardest part of being a mother?

  • Making time for anything that isn’t baby related.
  • Trusting others with my child.
  • Taking care of how I look and my personal hygiene.
  • Studying for school, while taking care of Harper.
  • Thinking about how scary the world outside of our home is.

Are you still breastfeeding?

No, I stopped at 5.5 months. I felt SO guilty and worthless. The ONE thing I had been so good at was just disappearing, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to get it back. I feel better about it now that she is on baby food, because her poopies are more regular and normal.

Does your baby sleep through the night?

Yes. BUT ONLY RECENTLY. If yours isn’t yet, just wait, it’ll happen. Mine happened at 7 months. I was told it would happen at 3-4 months. What a let down. I am just now returning to my human self. I can get up and play at 8am now and not be bushed. It’s lovely.

How do you ensure that your baby gets a proper nap? What if you are outside of your home while the baby needs a nap?

I’ve come to the conclusion that if it’s time for her 3:00 nap, I need to be home for her to take it. Plain and simple. Nobody respects the rules of volume control when it comes to baby naps. It’s sad ,but totally true. People always told me she would be used to noise, but she isn’t. She wakes up when she hears loud conversations or doors slamming…that’s just how she rolls. So I am making an executive decision to always make sure we can be home for her big nap. In a nice QUIET place.

What baby items can you not live without now?

  • BIBs. I complained about getting 200 of these, but now I seriously go through 8 a day! So, I was totally wrong, we needed all 200.
  • Pacifiers.
  • Floor bouncer. It keeps her from getting into my food if I make a meal!
  • Button up, or Zip up sleep suits from Carter’s
  • My “momma” by Lancosh boob shaped bottles. They are the bomb! I can only find them at the pelham walmart!

;

That’s all for tonight!

-Bell

Click HERE to vote for us on Top Baby Blogs!!

Tails of miss smooshy pants


How have I never thought of this?????

She freakin loves it!!!

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And now I have figured out how to entertain a baby for at least an hour. Nothing better than a great american cat chase!

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We may or may not have accidentally came home with these by accident. Either way, she loves them for some reason.

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Yet another day has gone by where I have watched my daughter try to kill herself. She is the master of pulling things over. No bueno. I’m glad we moved the bookcase out of the play room, but apparently there are so many OTHER things she loves to get into!

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WELL…NOW I’M OBSESSED WITH PIG-TAILS!!!

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This is one of my favorite moments this week. She fell asleep with me and resembled her former SMOOSHY self. I love that smoosh ball.

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We figured a straight jacket would keep her from getting into everything.

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We reintroduced her teething toy and clearly, it was a huge hit!

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This is one of the only ways I can get her to relax and cuddle with me in my lap.

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This is my favorite picture of all time so far.

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Harper playing with The Daddy.

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Great balls a fire!

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I didn’t think of the ramifications of pigtails after removal.

Everything is happening so fast. Every single day she does something new and different. It’s a lot to keep up with! I feel like in the past 2 weeks, she has mastered:

  • FULL ON CRAWLING.
  • Pulling up EVERY chance she gets.  She want to STAND!
  • Walking around the room hanging on to things.
  • Holding on to her sippy cup in a more efficient way.

My prediction is that she will be walking without assistance by 10 months.  Just an estimate.

In other news, I planted about 50 pumpkin seeds in my patch today.  Everyone say a quick prayer for my little seedlings.  May they produce a fun bountiful crop for harper to play in this Halloween!!  AND so we can share them with our neighbors!!!

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Much love,

Bell

Is this the attachment phase?


I’m not sure if this is it or not.

Harper wants my full undivided attention. Even if she realized I’m not looking at her she will start to scream. The job sounds easy enough…but sometimes it’s stressful to be someone’s puppet. She says dance, I dance. That’s just how life is going right now. It works, for right now. But it has become quiet the job.

Long gone are the days of eating a WARM lunch, much less a WHOLE lunch.

Completely gone are the days of me showing up to class wearing Harper’s last meal. People without kids look at my carrot stains and probably think I threw up on the way to class. I can only assume.

As far as studying goes these days, I have to do it during her nap or it won’t get done at all. If I have a BIG exam coming up, I have to leave the house. It’s hard to study even if someone else is taking care of her…because to take care of her the way she wants, you must sing and dance, of course.

As far as scholastic activities, I know my limits (I think). I don’t know if I could take on more than two classes next semester, so that’s exactly what I plan to do. After all, what is the point in taking courses you are set up to fail? NEXT- How do any full time mothers, that don’t stay at home, going to school? These women are the unicorns of society. They must take off their superwoman capes during class. I find it HARD to take ONE course. Luckily I’m not the only student in class referring to the course as hard.

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A few firsts


Harper Mack’s first pigtails!!! It was little challenging to get her hair into TWO rubber bands, I’ll tell ya that!

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Her first costco trip riding in the buggy! She’s always LOVED costco…now we are taking it to the next level!

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I wish I could say she ate my homework for the first time today. But it was actually the fifth time she’s eaten a biology flash card.
Every day she shows me something NEW I need to baby proof. Most of the day is spent following her around taking non baby items from her grubby little paws! Then a ginormous drama ensues. Then I show her something else. End drama.

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Have a good Tuesday!

-Bell

HOPE


Of course, right after I drove myself crazy, my fertility specialist called me to let me know everything is a GO so far.  I will visit their office in 2 weeks so they can get a peek at my prized ovaries and to give me all the medication I will need to inject for my August cycle.  The injections don’t bother me.  They fascinate me.  How accurate they have to be and how often they must check my blood levels to see how the hormones are directly affecting my body.  If my body responds too much to a certain thing they will ask me to skip a dose…if it doesn’t respond enough, I may get an extra dose.  (boo.)

I think that I will be excited when my next appointment rolls around because I will be so close to giving my recipient family what they need to complete their family.

I so very much want them to have that.  With every ounce of me, I want them to feel the love I am lucky enough to have.

I love the thought of them receiving a positive pregnancy test.

I love the thought of the mom being pregnant (and pray it isn’t like mine was lol).

I love them in a way.

I am attached to the HOPE that I associate with their family.

Well…off to do another load of laundry!

-Bell

The news said mommy bloggers are “jumping all over this”


The Mirenda Kerr story.  She had a birth plan.  She followed it.  That’s greatness.  It really is.  I can only assume that people are talking about her in a negative way had a poorly executed birth plan and are jealous.  Birth plans hardly ever go as PLANNED.  Mine went the complete opposite.  I guess all the well since we forgot to even bring my printed copy to the hospital.

I think back about my birth plan and I definitely remember being cautious about discussing certain plans with certain people.  Ya know why?  Because they would look at me like I was crazy.  I was embarrassed about some of my birth plans and some of my post birth plans.  But I shouldn’t have been.  The people that I would be embarrassed in front of were in no position to judge how I want to have my daughter.  It’s how I want to have MY daughter not how EVERYONE ELSE wants to have my daughter.  

I thought about having a water birth.  In depth.   Some people think that’s crazy.  

I thought about whether I should hire a doula.  After watching TLC I thought she would drive me nuts.

I was ::::THIS CLOSE:::: to getting a herbalist to prepare my afterbirth into capsules that I would consume to prevent postpartum depression.  (By :::this close::::  I mean I had John convinced that we were doing this for SURE. I had contacted THE only herbalist in the area that did it. ) -EVERYONE I know except John is/would be disgusted with this.  He was the one person I KNEW was concerned about my mental health after Harper was born.  Before she was even born.  

Next time around I will not be embarrassed about any part of my birth plan. Because it’s MINE.  The people that wonder why their loved ones KEEP information from them should look further into how they REACT when the same people SHARE extra information to them.  

 

There- I said my piece about it.

I’m going to go eat my 3:45pm lunch.

-Bell

Confusion


I realize that it was only Monday that I drove to the fertility center and gave blood samples, but this place usually contacts me the next day.  They’re the kind of people that are in CONSTANT contact with their donor.  They haven’t said anything to me, even after myself sending them an email asking if they got everything they need so far from me.  This scares me.  What if something is wrong with my bloodwork?  I feel if I reach out to them again I will be an annoyance…but I’m almost driving myself crazy wondering if there is a snag.

Surely they would call me and tell me if something was WRONG…

I guess my fears are getting the best of me the past 2 days.

I heard a quote a long time ago something along the lines of : I sit here, chew on my problems like gum, then stick it in my hair.

That’s probably what’s happening here.  I would really like for someone to tell me that I’m 100% capable of producing another child for myself as well as for my donor family.

Sincerely crazy,

Bell

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